There are certain things I've learned about myself over the years.

For example...

I don't make decisions alone.

Now, before anyone starts wondering if I should be professionally evaluated, let me explain.

Somewhere inside my head is a very large conference room.

It's beautifully organized.

There's a long polished table.

Coffee is always available.

And seated around that table are the Department Heads.

They're intelligent.

They're passionate.

They're highly opinionated.

And they're all absolutely convinced that their department is the one that should be making the final decision.

The problem is...

None of them know how to keep a meeting under five minutes.

The agenda might be something as simple as choosing which mug to use for my morning coffee...

...and somehow Research & Development has prepared a slideshow.

Legal wants to discuss liability.

Human Resources is concerned about everyone's feelings.

Accounting thinks we should just use yesterday's mug because it still has a little coffee left.

Meanwhile, Overthinking has imagined seventeen possible outcomes, none of which will ever happen.

By the time the meeting is over...

I've forgotten I was thirsty.

And, of course, I'm the Chairwoman at all these "meetings" - - always trying to keep it orderly, not take too long, and not get off track from the original debate.

The funny part is, I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not the only one.

Have you ever stared at two nearly identical emojis and wondered which one better communicates the precise level of amusement you experienced?

Have you ever stood in front of your closet trying to decide whether you actually need a jacket...even though you're only walking from the car to the front door?

Have you ever walked into a room with absolute confidence...

...only to realize the entire meeting had been called because no one remembered why you went in there?

Exactly.

Welcome to the club.

So, I'd like to introduce something new around here.

It's called...

Department HEADS Emergency Board Meeting.

(Yes...the pun was absolutely intentional.)

From time to time, we'll convene the Department Heads to tackle life's most pressing issues...

...the kind that really don't matter at all.

Because somehow those are the decisions that receive the most discussion.

We'll let every department have its say.

We'll hear the arguments.

We'll entertain unnecessary motions.

Someone will almost certainly overreact.

And eventually...

We'll adjourn the meeting and get on with life.

Or at least we'll try.

Keep in mind, these are all voices in my own head.

To inaugurate our newest tradition, I'd like to invite you to attend the very first official meeting.

Please silence your cell phones.

The Chairwoman has called the meeting to order.

DEPARTMENT HEADS EMERGENCY BOARD MEETING

Amplified Imagination Studios

Department of Internal Affairs

Agenda Item #1

Subject: Is It Too Late to Reply?

(begin meeting...)

Chairwoman (taps gavel)

"This emergency meeting has been called regarding a text message."

(Projects evidence onto the screen.)

Received: Tuesday at 2:14 PM

(Looks around the room.)

"It is now..."

"...Friday."

"The question before the board is..."

"Do we still reply?"

Director of Professionalism

"No."

"The window has closed."

"We'll do better next time."

Human Resources

"They're going to think we ignored them."

Overthinking

"They already think we ignored them."

"They've told their family."

"They've moved on."

"They've blocked us."

Legal

"I'd like everyone to remember..."

"There is no evidence supporting any of that."

Research & Development

"I've prepared a timeline."

(Projects graph.)

"The ideal response window..."

"...is somewhere between immediately..."

"...and before the sun burns out."

Accounting

"If we reply now..."

"...we'll owe an apology."

"That's extra words."

Marketing

"We need to control the narrative."

"We open with..."

"I'm SO sorry..."

Creative

"What if..."

"...we pretend we just now got the notification?"

Entire Board

"Ooooooo..."

Legal

"Perjury."

IT Department

"I checked."

"You absolutely saw it."

Chairwoman

"...Thank you, IT."

Southern Representative

"Y'all."

"Just answer the text."

"If they're mad..."

"...they'll let you know."

"If they're not..."

"...they'll answer."

"This meeting has lasted longer than the delay."

(Silence.)

Overthinking

"...But what if they reply with..."

"Never mind."

(Entire room gasps.)

Research & Development

"I have a contingency flowchart."

Chairwoman

"NO MORE CHARTS."

IT Department

"While you've all been talking..."

"...they've texted again."

(Projects screen.)

"Just checking in!"

Entire Room

PANIC.

Chairwoman

"..."

"I'd like to call a second emergency board meeting."

Agenda Item #3:

'How many exclamation points sound sincere...without sounding guilty?'

Meeting adjourned.

~ Michelle Mullins ~
Founder & Creative Director
Amplified Imagination Studios

If you enjoyed this story, I hope you’ll stick around. You'll soon see many more of these "Department HEADS" meetings in your social media. They'll also always be posted right here at Amplified Imagination Studios headquarters (where all these meetings are held. 😆)

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I’d love to have you along for the journey!

Because every story deserves to be heard - -

Every Story Becomes a Song, and Every Song Becomes a World.